Do you find yourself questioning yourself if you are happy with your life? Are you satisfied with whatever is happening in your world?
Have you ever found yourself in a position where you cannot just decide if the life you are living is worthwhile? Do you also fear that if you start something new, it might not just be like the old one and you might end up regretting?
Well, I question myself every day if all of this is worth the pain. The hours I dedicate for work, is it being paid off or even appreciated for that matter. The people I am hanging out with, are they going to be by my side when I need them or am I just an entertainment update for them? My relationship, is it going to sustain or are we just going to be one of the couples who keeps mentioning their exes.
I have been in and out of relationships and looking back at them now, I have grown a little mature with every relationship. I have learnt to be patient and understand my partner more. Give him that little extra space if he wants. But unfortunately none of them worked them out for me. I took years to come out from that phase where I would just backpack myself to a place where no one knew me. Through the journey, I met people from different races and cultures, who are now dear to me and I certainly cannot explain this relationship of mine with them to anyone now because to put it simple, they won’t understand.
After years of going through pain, I finally fell for this guy I had known for years. I had no fucking guts to tell it to him then as I was broken and now we are living together for past 3 months. It’s not easy staying together when the other person is completely different than you are. It has been tough 3 months as there have been days when I come back home after 8 hours’ day job plus the extra hours to just reach the workplace, we both have just quarreled and went off to bed without food. We have had a heated discussion about the kind of friends I have or he has and we haven’t spared my wardrobe as well if we don’t have anything to talk about. Most of the times we have had a row about our lifestyle, the environment we both grew up in; yes, all those petty things.
I know we both have tried enough to be together and have tried million other ways just to revive the bond that we have. We both have now become one of those couples who just orders the food, eats silently and leaves for home without exchanging a word. There have been times when he wants to party and I am in a mellow mood, we both have just stopped comprising for each other because we just don’t see the point of being together.
So gathering all the guts that we both decided to just let it go instead of pushing ourselves so hard. Now I have started wondering if love is ever going to enough for people. Oh yes, I love him dearly. I have never cared about someone so much to move in with that person. I know everyone goes through a break up and it’s probably one of the good decisions I have made in sometime but t’s just going to take some time to sink in. You cannot just un-love someone you see.
If you are going through the same where you don’t feel you as you are and someone else then it’s high time you should call it off because we all deserve someone better and Most importantly you deserve to be happy.