Perfect World – NOT

The world is full of liars; the unaccredited masters of deception. After it is said and done, after they have absorbed all they need from you, they confess their lies. Not by words, they are merely a distraction from the reality of their selfishness, but by action. And while you let it slip and pass through right under your heels, you are only getting ready for a bigger state of shock in the inevitably inevitable future. And while all your broken hearts might get baffled by the change in your importance in others’ eyes, no one ever seems to notice the real wound; the one that really hurts. The wound you get when you lay your sight over how – when they were preparing to abandon all of what you worked for – you let them matter. Letting them take a form of the physical substance in your ‘perfect world’ that you build in your minds is the greatest mistake you can ever make, and the greatest mistake you have ever made.

It is not a question of who your other self is. It is not a question of who understands you. It is not a question of who wants you for who you are. It is a question of why you were never able to see the very simple truth: no one is your other self, no one understands you and no one ever truly wants you. All of the romantics, all of the optimists and all of the philosophies; pay no heed to them and think to yourself when you go to bed at night. Do you really deserve to suffer the one-sided pain of all the effort you need to make to keep something alive?

Who ever proved the assumption that the ‘other side’ is facing the same amount of ‘hurt’ that you are facing? Why must you only be the one to go and say sorry to set things right? Why, at all, do you need to scar yourself when you don’t get given the ‘goodbye’ you worked so hard to deserve? ‘They’ say there will always be more questions and most of them cannot be answered and that it is a way of life. No, it is not a ‘way’ of life. It is a ‘disability’. And when you accept the ‘way’ and things go wrong, the questions slowly blend in. That is when you see the form of regret reflecting from the surface of the clearest crystal mirror; you know, that you should have just let go.

Give it more time and you run out of it for yourself. Giving up and walking away are two completely different things; sides that can never meet. It is never easy to see something you have believed to be true all your life, to be a lie. But there is a point or a moment – though its existence might not seem entirely clear – where you are supposed to see that you have done enough and see what is wrong rather than wonder what went wrong. If it’s not you, and you know you have tried too many times to set things right, it is time. It is time to walk away and not think about what you did wrong but realize that you did actually try – too many times even.

It is time to graciously say the two words to everything and everybody that did not see you for who you are and what you are. Lift your head, smile and gather all your heart and say, “Fuck you” and start walking.

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2 thoughts on “Perfect World – NOT

  1. Learning when to walk away is a valuable and hard learned lesson. My fiction is based upon characters who stand their ground longer than I would. And I sometimes envy them their endurance. ~grin~ Best wishes.

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