You – #AToZChallenge

Dear You,

As I am sitting here trying to figure out what to write for today’s post, I am wondering why I haven’t talked about this already. There are so many things that I want to say to you, but there is no time to get through it all. I could spend the rest of my life telling you how much you mean to me, and I still wouldn’t be able to get through half of it. You are everything I have ever wanted. Whether it’s your smile or your sense of humor or your desire to please everyone around you, you have made me fall for you. And trust me when I say this: I’m falling hard.

I could have just written this out as a personal letter and given it to you but I think posting it on a public forum solidifies and enhances all the emotions I’m pouring into this post. I think there is something beautiful and amazing to write all of your deepest and sincerest emotions to privately tell your significant other, but I also think there is something very genuine and brave about announcing it for anyone to see. 

You always tell me that everything happens for a reason, and maybe our reason isn’t concrete yet, but I believe you were placed into my life so I could understand what it meant to truly give my whole self to someone else. You are my heart and soul and my reason for smiling, and I will never be able to thank you enough.

I realized that we don’t have many pictures together so next time I see you, I will take up all the space in your gallery 🙂  I know we haven’t spoken in ages and haven’t seen your face since 2012 and I haven’t felt your arms around me since the day I moved out. You can’t imagine how much I truly miss you, and I can never put the right words together to tell you how much you mean to me, but I’ll try.

Distance is the toughest thing a relationship can go through, but everything happens for a reason. I guess the reason for the miles between us is so we can grow stronger. But knowing that there are hours standing between you and me is so hard. Some days are worse than others, though. You’re busy with work and friends, and you’re filling your days so that the time passes by quickly, while I lie in bed and weep for us. Maybe it’s just my paranoia that you’ll forget about me or maybe it’s the harsh reality that I can’t just waltz into your room whenever I want, but this distance is soul crushing.

 Being with you has taught me the most about what it truly means to love someone and what it really means to sacrifice. You live on the other side of the world and I’ve seen long distance couples fail, but I have also seen long distance couples thrive, so it’s a scary place to be, especially for me. Thank you for always respecting that.

I’m very screwed up in many ways and as a result am terrified out of my mind for what is to come in the next year. I won’t be seeing you for another 2 years, and I don’t know what to do or think about that. You were so happy when I told that I might move back for good and we’ll finally be together ! 

Being X hours apart and growing up in so many ways without the other being physically there to be there for it all is going to be a challenge but it is definitely doable. You will be living on your own for the first time in your life in a country you are not familiar with, and you will be in school as well doing what you love. 

You have become a part of who I am, and that scares me. But what terrifies me most is the thought of losing you. I love that a small smile creeps across your face when you talk about your family.. I love every moment I have ever spent with you. I love every memory we share, and although we are in a rough patch, I cannot wait to make more.

 You are my best friend and my partner in crime, and I am forever grateful. Thank you so much for loving me the way you do.

 I love you, Okay ?


2 thoughts on “You – #AToZChallenge

  1. Pingback: Almost through #AToZChallenge – Little Heart Speaks

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