Solitude

Sometimes you just hate it, don’t you? The reality that things can go wrong so many times in so many places in so many ways. It is almost as if you can make folders of all your troubles and stuff it into a shelf. Properly labelled just to remind you how shattered your life is.

Solitude is a bad thing, so I have learned. All it does is gather up feelings – unopened feelings – and all the thoughts that never made it to the finish line and bring them all back at once like an asteroid crashing down your perfect little home without even the smallest trace of hope of rebuilding it.

So taking time alone to think about it and then never making the conclusion puts you nowhere. If it does, it is in a bar drinking alone and getting drunk till you forget you can walk and try crawling out of desperation. Or maybe into a closed room where thoughts have been stuffed in so much not letting them out that it almost makes you suffocate. It only gets worse when people don’t understand you. And it’s even worse when you are the one trying to ease things for another person. Trying to get that small crack in so you can take a peek inside and see what is actually going on. From what I now know, the only way to save yourself- believe me when I say this – is to walk away.

Yes, it is abandonment if you like to see it that way. Because when there is nothing you can do, there really is nothing you can do. You just make a decision, stick to it, look ahead and walk. Walk into new troubles, new people, new places and maybe new sight of freedom and happiness. Look it up in the dictionary and this will all come down as ‘experience’ and well, also ‘life’. It really is that simple. You almost don’t want to believe it could be that easy because of all that work you put into looking for answers. So many boxes of thoughts and things you would never know never making any sense.

A whole district filled with the same question, ” What do I do now? ” If you still don’t know the answer, it’s ‘walking away’. It is not to be confused with ‘running away’ though because that is what got you into the ‘zone’ putting you in the ‘spot’. That’s what brought you here, into the state of the clueless. So now you walk away, starting anywhere you can. Learn to do it often and you will learn to not care. And everybody knows the perfect way to stay out of trouble, ‘not caring’. If you did not know, it is. 🙂

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. I needed this today. Thank you. 🙂

    Like

    1. apsster says:

      I’m glad to hear that 🙂 Trust me, you’ll be fine. Just fine. Loads of love 😘

      Like

  2. Donald Sapkota says:

    Its feels awesome to come across a fellow countryman who can write.

    Like

    1. apsster says:

      Thank you very much 🙂

      Like

      1. Donald Sapkota says:

        No needing saying thanks you didi. Your article so so so very nice it trapping me like the mouse trap trapping that mouse in the dinner time when that mouse wanting cheese in dinner. Cheese, not cheese balls.

        Like

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